I see articles all over the place about the holiday blues and depression and what can be done to help. A few examples of advice (taken from one such article, but represented in many) include have replenishing relationships, do things that you find rewarding and fulfilling, get plenty of sleep, don’t attend parties if you don’t want to, and learn to live within your limits.
For those of you who have never had the holiday blues or experienced depression (mild or severe) like I used to, you may not understand that this advice actually feeds depression. For example, when in a depressed state, it’s hard to see how any relationship is "replenishing" and you don’t find anything "rewarding or fulfilling"; it only feeds the depression to be reminded that you may not have what you need to feel better. Also, when depression hits, you usually feel like you just need more sleep to get over it; the advice to "get plenty of sleep" gives permission to not get out of bed at all, which is counterproductive. I found that if I didn’t feel like going to a party when I was depressed, just the act of getting ready to go and heading out the door helped my mood whereas staying home alone only fed the depression.
"Learn to live within your limits." Really?! Most of our lives we are told, in some way or another, that we have limits. "You can’t do that" "Don’t do/touch/say/believe that" "You’re crazy if you think you can make a living doing that" "Don’t be an idiot" and so on and so forth. Depressed people feel they have even lower limits… so "why bother" doing anything?
Back when I was depressed, I would have loved a simple solution that didn’t involve chemicals, or man-made concoctions, or advice that only made me feel worse. And I ultimately found it!
The first simple step that I used for moving out of the blues and into the pink is... Smile! You don’t have to necessarily feel happy (yet). Just force the corners of your mouth to curve upward, even if only the slightest bit. Now, hold that smile. Force yourself to move past the “I have nothing to smile about” thoughts and just do the physical act. Just the act of smiling will help you smile more because you’ll start feeling better, and as long as you persist in smiling you will continue to feel better. Why? Because studies have shown that the act of smiling releases endorphins, serotonin and natural painkillers. These help boost your mood, and reduce your pain and stress.
My life has improved so much since I learned to be happy. Yes, I said “learned” because you can learn to be happy. And it all starts with a smile.
